Theme: Life is full of fantastic little things
A person who is important to me
Writing : I am learning to write a piece of prose- a sketch with detailed words, about a particular PERSON , that is very important to me
I know I have achieved this when I can describe this sketch of this person,in specific detail. To do this I need to:
- Use specific nouns
- Activate the nouns with strong verbs
My friend Elijah
Young, with brown and green eyes, those that blink regularly
He has a small nose and a big head with long shaggy hair that has a golden tinge.
His yellow teeth (like -REALLY yellow) - illuminate the inside of his mouth. He also has freckles that look like they're popping out of nowhere.
His mouth and tongue are odd because his tongue covers half of the inside of his mouth and his lips look a bit bigger then they should be for his size.
He is funny, much better than a clown who attempts to do great jokes.
My friend enjoys trying new things,
My brother from another mother runs fast , so hard, that it can be tricky to keep up with him at times
can do things that I can’t do…
My special friend Elijah
Hi Josh
ReplyDeleteMy name is Maddison I am a year 5 student a Yaldhurst Model School
I love your blog post
I really liked all of it I will ask my friends to comment on it
Well Done
from Maddie
Hello Josh!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading your peice of work!
You made it very descriptive.
Did you enjoy writing this?
Whats your next step after this?
I can tell Elijah is very important to you,
What's some of the jokes he tells you? Do you think he could be a comedian?
He seems very funny!
Maybe add some more information about him.
Thank you,
Lucy from Yaldhurst Model School.
Hi Josh here I hope you enjoyed reading my work.
DeleteI did enjoy writing this because it was about my friend.
My next step will be improving the writing and spelling.
One of the jokes is what is the difference between a book and a teacher?
you can shut it up
I think he could be comedian one day.
Thank you for reading :)
Joshua
drummond school
room 4
I have improved my comment for you;
ReplyDeleteHello Josh!
I really enjoyed reading your piece of work, because you made it very descriptive,I had a clear image in my head.
Did you enjoy writing this?
Do you like writing? I sure do because you can write down what you see and what's happening in your imagination.
What's your next step after this?
I can tell Elijah is very important to you because the way you wrote about him.
What's some of the jokes he tells you? Do you think he could be a comedian?
He seems very funny because how you said he’s funny like a clown ad clowns are hilarious.
Thank you,
Lucy from Yaldhurst Model School.
Kia Ora Josh !
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed hearing about your friend Elijah.
He sounds very special to you.
From Chyna
Oamaru Intermediate School.
Room 6
Hi Chayna Josh here
DeleteI'm so happy you enjoyed reading me writing about my friend Elijah he is a good friend to have.
Joshua
drummond
rooom 4